Imagine you are standing in a crowded subway car. And that every couple of minutes, that subway car stops, some people get off, and some people get on. But you continue to stand, gripping a pole a hair tighter than necessary, because you just never know when the subway driver is going to play a game of chicken with everyone not holding on. (More on that later, because I am fully convinced that there are secret cameras in the subway cars where drivers can watch their breaking/accelerating antics be the demise of a passengers balance.)
Now, imagine that as you are standing there, the subway comes to a stop at a station that is not yours, and while you wait for people get on and off, a crotchety old woman standing behind you barks, “aren’t you getting off”, and looks at you with disdain. What would you do?
She hadn’t made any movement until this point; she hadn’t said excuse me, she hadn’t used any of the normal subway decorum that I’ve grown accustomed to. She just assumed that I was going to get out of her way, because she had willed it, in her mind. At least, thats what I can only assume, since she paid no mind to the commuters code. I wish I had the grace and humility to have said, “Oh, I’m so sorry ma’am,” and moved quickly out of her way. But, I didn’t. No, I turned, made an annoyed face, and said, “Uh, NO, I’m not getting off.” She then glared back, shoved me into a pole and pushed her way through about 3 more passengers. Sometimes, just like the pirates code, courtesy in NYC is more of a guideline.
Moving from a place where I rarely took public transportation, the idea of doing so seemed half “glamorous urban city lifestyle” and half “dirty smelly peasant wagons”. I clarified what travelling like a peasant means to my mom the other day: where you have to hold and carry your own bags the whole time. The horror!
I have since learned that while the subway is in fact, a 50/50 split. It can be a godsend during traffic and a convenient way to escape the rain, but every rose has it’s thorn, and life on the subway can get pretty thorny.
- Your metro card will run out of money at the most inconvenient time, every time. It will be when you are already running late, and your train is arriving, but there will be a line of 10 people at the kiosk in front of you.
- Nope, there is nowhere good to stand. You will always be in someones way.
- As the weather gets cold, people put on coats/scarves/boots. They bring those clothes into the subway with them, naturally. But more people wearing more things equals bigger people trying to move around in less space. It’s awesome…..ly terrible.
- No, there will never be a day when all trains are running without delays.
- There are people who don’t pay attention to rules. They will dart in front of you to take the last spot on the subway car, or smack you with their jacket as they try to take it off. Be nice to these people, even when you don’t want to. Because one day, that rule-breaker will be you. And you will have to endure the stares of loathing from someone that you physically cannot turn away from, as you have crammed yourself into their breathing space on the subway car.
- The West 4th stop is the worst. I don’t know why. It just is.
- Try and not look desperate. Only the tourists look desperate. The rest of us know that while maybe inconvenient, there’s another train usually right behind.
- Don’t talk on the morning commute. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- If you have a stroller, you can ride the subway after 10am and before 2pm. And not during 12-1pm. So basically just don’t.
- Learn your exit strategy. If you can be riding in just the right car, you can be out of the station 60 seconds faster. It might not seem like much, but during a heat wave in July, that 60 seconds is EVERYTHING.
- There aren’t as many rats as I was expecting.
- Listen to the announcements. Because the one time you don’t, your local train will miraculously turn into an express. No stop for you!
- There is no better place in the world for people watching, than the New York City subway.
So. The MTA. For the peasants; for the people.
Big wheel keep on turnin’……
Proud Mary keep on burnin’……..
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river.
You’re welcome.
XOXO
Bex in the City 